Cannonball

It’s my birthday soon…ish.
OK! Not that soon at all really. But I am already thinking about it because there doesn’t feel like a whole lot between now and then. By that, I don’t mean nothing is happening- quite the opposite. Which means it will be here before I know it.
I do fear birthdays a bit still. Last year I more or less overcame this, and the previous year I just ate meat and got soaking in the rain, so there wasnt heaps to complain about. I dunno… it’s expectation or something isn’t it?! I hate birthday parties- my own I mean. I love other peoples. I love other peoples parties, birthdays and most of all buying them presents.
OH HECK! It’s APRIL you know, APRIL! It was Alices birthday almost two months ago and I am still yet to have taken delivery of her best present. Between the present and I is an illiterate man and I fear this could result in a lo-o-o-ong delay. He never even replied to my last email the shit.

Anyway, here is some stuff I would like, in general, and for my birthday I guess:

1. Building A Desert by Idle Hands

I just really want to own this. It has some really brilliant songs on it. I tried to find it online and it was gong to cost something ridic like $30. I don’t mind not having the actual CD, let’s face it, that will just end up in my bathroom. It’s basically pop punk, which is not something I have ever been comfortable with liking. All my friends when I was a mid-teen were into all of that. I tried to understand- I mean, I kind of liked The Offspring… I even bought a couple of Fat Wreck compilations (which are in my bathroom), but… nah. Anyway, this was release on Trustkill… someone ask that handsome ginger for a copy for me would youuu?

2. Mer Morte by Monarch

Do I have a record player?
No
Do I like Monarch?
Yes
Does the first bit matter?
I dunno.

I really love Monarch and I think I may have pondered before if I really love Monarch fullstop, or if I really love Monarch partly because they have totally charmed me with their cider-sharing, whispery ways. I care not, either way. I want to own this, hold it in my gleeful hands and marvel at its beauty. I will feel the doom through the vinyl. I have no need for ears.

SHIT JUST LOOK AT IT WOULD YOU!??qD.,JDLWEKJQD’M

3. Tegan & Sara Black Metal Shirt.

Heck yeah it’s sold out everywhere, and that’s fine. It’s pure fantasy. I am not even a massive T&S fan, but I do really love this shirt. And their faces. And Walking With A Ghost.

4. Vivienne Westwood Melissa Shoes

P.S ONLY JOKING! I think I would rather die than put my trotters anywhere near such a monstrosity. UIRRJKRJKREHJ

In other news, Metric are playing in Manchester the day I get back from ATP. I wanna go so ruddy bloody much. I am currently weighing up if this is the most foolish thing ever to plan? I am in work the next day. But I have wanted to see Metric for the longest time. Argh.

I got in contact with my friend Jen shortly after writing that previous thing about Ladyhawke. She probably couldn’t possibly have sounded more happy to hear from me. WOWOWOW. I love her. And she loves me. And so do heaps of other people you know. Sometimes all you need is to be reminded of that- that someone loves you and your tomatoes.

I am going to try and sell some stuff. I say TRY because it really is a big wrench. It seemed like a revelation a couple of years back to realise the reason I am such a hoarder and why I like the mess and confusion of my house, is because being surrounded by stuff which is familiar and has a story attached makes me feel at home as I ever possibly could do. Ehhh, STUFF doesn’t make a home does it? I need to stop that. I never wear my Most Precious Blood shirts- I never even look at them. How on earth could they possibly provide me with any comfort?! What a crock of shiddd.

Today I emailed Ray Harkins (the man who thinks double decker busses are like fair ground rides, and woops at small dogs) to see if he wanted to meet up when I go to LA.

This was positivity happening. Maybe I can convince him to give me a job at Century Media in LA, but I won’t hold my breath. God! Actually try and imagine me working in LA. Go on.. I would be stumbling around, blinded by bright Californian sunshine, all pasty and flabby moaning I am too hot and I can’t reach the middle of my back to put my factor 50 sunblock on. Woeee.

I am waiting on an answer which could make my life totally heaps better, or send me right back to urgrhrhrh awful despair and hopelessness. Pleasssseeee the former, dramatic gods.

There is a HAT MUSEUM in Stockport. I am probably going to go there soon. HATS!!!!

Top Shop has now sold out in EVERY SIZE of the shoes I want. Do you think this means they will get more!? I really hope so, but I bet Bestie has forgotten all about it, and wont even buy them for me anymore. I hope you appreciate my constant updates about these shoes.. They are massively beautiful.