Cannonball

    For a very long time now, I have wanted to own my own house. Whilst this might seem at odds with my apparent inability to stay put, it matches up perfectly with my total desire to have a HOME. I have probably somewhat convinced myself that if I have a house that I can put up shelves in, and invest in refurbishment that it will make it a home. I know that’s probably not the case, but it didnt stop me forcing my mother to visit mortgage advisors with me. To no avail of course. Shittttt I remember feeling heartbroken, arrrhh. I did want to buy a house in London though, what an idiot. Well, it was one particular place, actually a flat.

See, probably since the internet and I met, I have loved searching for property. It’s not something I do often, I have to say, but it is a secret pleasure. I guess it’s just a more interactive version of reading the property ads in the paper. 360 video tours! hiiiii. One time, there was a GF    F in Hackney I was obsessed with, it was by Hackney Downs and had a GARDEN that was totally full of flowers, and patio doors, and a mezzanine bed platform.

Eh, I have gotten loftier in my desires since.

I don’t use my laptop all that much anymore,  as it is painfully slow. Ryan Clark said he would fix it, but that hasnt happened yet. It probably just needs a technological cuddle. Give it one Ryan. Anyway, there is a folder on here I just found, where I guess several months ago I started saving photos of STUFF I WANTED. There are shoes and taxidermy* chairs in there, and this:

It’s somewhere in Yorkshire, but I forget where. Try and imagine how much I wanna live in it! You cannnnn’t because you don’t know about the gallery bedrooooooom. It exists! And there are two staircases.  Obviously I would do something very err creative with those other buildings.  I wouldn’t have horses. Except maybe one Tiny Horse. Or two to ease the grumpiness. And, although I have never had any overwhelming affection for chickens (however Chris tells me they are GOOD), in the video tour of this house, there were chickens and they won me over. I even showed Alice this house (and video), almost like righhhht how am I gonna get that then.

I want that house.

*I am going round Keirans next week to see his fresh delivery of taxidermy. Lucky I have just been paid, but ouchhh how much do you reckon a Heron would cost!? Lots I reckon. I did declare the other day that I don’t NEED more shoes, but I keep checking the Topshop website to see if those red shoes I like are back in stock in my size. I do have about 80 pairs of shoes, I DON’T need more. But I probably, definitely do need some stuffed vermin. I am willing to part with cash for taxidermied wildlife. Apparently Wheatley has already bagsied the hedgehog. What a cow.